Starstruck, Tallahassee's on cloud nine. He even gets to smoke out with Bill. Noticing that they are staring at his hair, Murray explains it's a hairpiece, which apparently to them, it makes him look like Eddy Van Halen.
Murray: I Just saw Eddy Van Halen at the Hollywood bowl.
Wichita: Well, how was he?
Murray: He's a zombie.
Wichita: That's a tough break.
After play acting scenes from Ghostbusters, Bill attempts to play a practical joke on Columbus by pretending to be zombie.
Murray: So Columbus is the scared one?
Tallahassee: Yeah, he's like a little bunny.
Murray: I'll get him. Watch this.
Caught off-guard, Columbus shoots and Murray with the shotgun.
Columbus: It's okay, it's okay. I got him.
Murray: Is that how you say hello where you come from?
Columbus: Oh my God, Oh my God I can't believe I shot Bill Murray. Mr. Murray?
Murray: Just Bill, I think now. Ow, that's still tender.
Columbus: If it means anything now ,I am so sorry. It was just instinctive.
Murray: It was my bad. I was never a very good practical joker.
The gang gives Bill Murray a funeral, honoring him with a shotgun salute.
During a game of Monopoly, they discuss the worst things about Zombieland.
Columbus: You mean other than the fact that I shot Bill Murray?
Tallahassee: That's easy. Losing Buck
Columbus: That's his puppy.
Tallahassee: I tell you, I never thought I could love anything like Buck. The day he was born I just lost my mind. He had my personality, my laugh, my appetite.
Columbus realizes that everyone, not just him, misses their home.
Columbus (v.o.): Laugh? And that's when it hit me. I felt so ashamed that it had taken me this long. Me with the best cardio in the business to realize I wasn't the only one running from something.
Tallahassee (pulls out his wallet): We made this wallet together out of duct tape.
Tallahassee shows a picture of his son to Columbus.
Flashback: Tallahasse enjoys time with his son. He lied about the dog, it was really his son who died, lost to the zombies.
Tallahassee: Take away a man's son, you've truly given him nothing left to lose. . . . . I haven't cried like that since Titanic.
While Tallahassee teaches Little Rock how to shoot, Columbus and Wichita get drunk. Columbus and Wichita share a story from their past. Columbus tells a story of being rejected at an eighth grade dance. It was a girls choice dance and none of the girls picked him.
Wichita: Those bitches! No, I will not stand for this, you know what? On behalf of all the eight-grade girls, I would like you to make it up to you.
Wichita offers to dance with him.
Columbus: I don't even know your name, but this is actually really nice.
Wichita: You know, between you, me and . . . You're actually kind of cute.
Columbus: You think so?
Wichita: I mean you got the guts of a guppy, but I could hit that.
Columbus: Really?
Wichita: I'll at least give you the intentional walk to first.
The moment they are about to kiss, they're interrupted by Tallahassee, wanting help to move a couch.
Tallahassee: We're making a fort.
Wichita: That was probably for the best, cause I like you, Columbus, but my sister and I are going to do whatever it takes to survive so.
Columbus: I was hoping Wichita was just playing hard to get, but I realized that she had more trust issues than I did. When I woke up the next day and she was leaving.
Wichita and Little Rock leave, afraid that any further bonds will break their sisterly bond.
Columbus: You are like a giant cock-blocking robot, developed in a secret fucking government lab.
Tallahassee: Hey, you weren't exactly gonna score anyway. You weren't storming' the trenches before I came along.
Columbus: That's why I don't let people close, you only get burned.
Tallahassee: You don't say.
Columbus (v.o.): This is the problem with getting attached to someone. When they leave you just feel lost. Having Tallahassee around didn't comfort me, it just made me feel more alone.
Meanwhile in the Hummer, Wichita discusses leaving, with Little Rock.
Wichita: I can't believe I almost kissed him. What's our rule?
Little Rock: Trust no one, just you and me.
Wichita: Just you and me.
Little Rock: Yeah, you and me.
Wichita: You have just survived the zombie apocalypse and drove halfway across the country. Where are you gonna go?
Little Rock: I'm going to Pacific Playland. Woo.
Back to the boys, Tallahassee scoffs at Columbus' infatuation with Wichita.......
Tallahassee: Mexico, you know what they call Twinkies in Mexico? Los Submerinos. That's where I'm headed amigo.
Columbus: Whatever. I'm going after Wichita.
Tallahassee: You ever read that book "She's just not that into you"? You can't make yourself too available.
Columbus: I don't care, alright I wanna be with her. Have fun in Mexico.
Seconds before they part ways, Tallahassee has a change of heart, he's going to go with Columbus.
The girls arrive at the amusement park. Believing it is deserted, they turn on the all the power and everything in the park turns on and lights up.
However, the noise and lights attracts zombies from the surrounding area. Zombies zero in on Wichita and Little Rock. It's all they can do to fight them off.
They decide to go for high ground on one of the tallest rides. The 'Blastoff' ride shoots them up to a great height. When the ride begins to come down, Little Rock, thanks to Tallahassee's sharpshooting lessons, is able to shoot the control box and stop the ride from descending into the mass of zombies.
Outside of Pacific Playland, the guys arrive and discover the girls could be in serious trouble. Though fighting his nerves, Columbus, along with Tallahassee, decide to investigate. Finding the yellow Hummer in the water, Columbus is devastated, until he hears the girls scream from the Blastoff ride. They see that the zombies have trapped Wichita and Little Rock on the ride.
Tallahassee: I think they might actually require our hard assistance this time.
Columbus: Buckle up.
Tallahassee: Yup, I'm way ahead of you. Time to nut up or shut up.
Columbus (v.o.): My mama always told me someday I'll be good at something. Who'd have guessed that something would be zombie killin'. Probably nobody.
Tallahassee (arms himself heavily): What are you waiting for, Columbus? It's your gal.
Using a bullhorn, he sounds off, bringing all the zombies towards him.
Tallahassee: Come on! Come get a piece of Tallahassee! Anybody hungry? Tallahassee-nice over here. Come on . . . come on you ugly bastards.
With Tallahassee distracting most of the zombies, Columbus must save the girls on his own. With zombies on his ass, Columbus is forced into a haunted house. Tallahassee barricades himself inside a gift hut, fighting off a small army of zombies.
Moments later, Columbus fights his way to the Blastoff, only to find a clown zombie in between him and rescuing the girls.
Columbus (v.o.): Look at this fucking clown. Of course, it had to be a clown. No, it had to be a clown.
Out of bullets, Columbus rethinks his rules.
Columbus (v.o.): And it had to be Wichita for me to finally understand that some rules are made to be broken. Time to nut up or shut up. Fuck this clown.
Columbus takes on the zombie clown, killing him with a sledge hammer. He saves the girls, putting his life before theirs. Columbus reaches for the emergency brake on the Blastoff and lets the girls down.
Wichita trusts Columbus now. She embraces him and reveals her real name: Krista. They finally kiss.
Columbus and the girls find Tallahassee in a shop with a Twinkie advertisement. Tallahassee is looking for twinkies. Hearing a noise in the closet, Tallahassee sends a shotgun blast through a door. As they open the door, they discover he has shot the only box of Twinkies and none of them survived the blast.
Outside, Columbus and Tallahassee hear the SUV pull away. Columbus runs outside, screams and the SUV stops. Both girls get out and look back at the guys. Little Rock throws a Twinkie to Tallahassee. He cries tears of joy. He eats it within seconds.
Columbus (v.o.): That face. That's me realizing that those smart girls in that big truck and that big guy in that snakeskin jacket, they were the closest to something I had always wanted, but never really had. A family. I trusted them and they Enjoy The Little Things. Tallahassee got his Twinkie and even though life will never be simple or innocent again, as he savored that spongy yellow log of cream, we had hope, we had each other.
And without other people, you might swell be a zombie. So until next time remember: Cardio, seat belts and this really has nothing to do with anything, but a little sunscreen never hurt anybody. I'm Columbus, Ohio, from Zombieland saying: Good night.
The four of them drive off in the SUV together.
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