Jack, Marcie, and Ned are on the dock, while Brenda swims in the water. It's around lunch time and they're taking a break.
NED: Now, if you were a flavor of ice cream, what would it be?
MARCIE (in a Stockard Channing in Grease voice): Rocky Road!
She pushes Ned into the water.
NED: Hey!
Across the lake, a hand pushes a branch back, watching the counselors.
MARCIE: What's that vitamin C stuff do for ya anyway?
BRENDA: It's supposed to neutralize the nitrates or something.
She pulls back towards the dock, Marcie thinks she sees something.
BRENDA: What's the matter, you see something?
MARCIE: No, nothing.
Ned swims up from under Brenda.
BRENDA: Oh!
She yells to Bill and Alice on the beach.
BRENDA: Hey, you guys ready to go back to work?
BILL: Yeah. Come on, Alice.
NED (splashing around in the water): Help! Help!
BRENDA: Something's wrong with Ned!
JACK: Get a life preserver!
Alice gets the life preserver; Bill and Marcie get a canoe and oar; Jack dives in and they work together to save Ned, pulling him onto the dock.
JACK: You know mouth-to-mouth?
BRENDA: Yeah.
She leans down and starts mouth-to-mouth
JACK: Come on, Ned. Come on!
Ned begins to kiss Brenda, revealing his ploy.
JACK: Oh, Ned, Jesus Christ!
Alice is in her cabin wearing a pink robe. She's looking through her drawers when she sees a snake and yells for Bill who comes in with a machete.
BILL: What is it?
ALICE: There's a snake over there.
BILL: Where? What do I do?
ALICE: Kill it!
BILL: It might bite!
ALICE: Haven't you ever been in the woods?
BILL: I'm not in the woods!
Jack runs in with a shovel. Marcie, Ned, and Brenda follow.
JACK: Jesus, Bill, what are you doing?
BILL: There's a snake in here.
MARCIE: Then what are we doing in here?
NED: Whoa--feet don't fail me now!
ALICE: There he is! (they dive under the bed for it) I can't sleep with a snake in here!
MARCIE (to Jack): You never said anything about snakes.
ALICE: Kill it!
NED (imitating John Wayne): You heard the lady!
BILL: I can't get it til it comes out.
ALICE: Well, call him!
BILL: How do you call a snake?
Jack knocks over the nightstand accidentally, and the snake slithers out from under the bed. There is brief havoc, but Bill kills the snake with the machete.
ALICE: Is it dead?
NED: Either that, or its got a very short clone.
All but Ned sighs, boos, and hisses.
MARCIE: Well, at least we know what's for dinner!
MARCIE: Oh, Marcie!
They depart, and Bill walks over rather despondant.
Marcie and Brenda walk through the woods near the road into the camp.
BRENDA: I'm making salad. You want me to go ahead and make some for everybody?
MARCIE: That'd be great. I think we've got some hamburger in there, too.
BRENDA: I think there are apples. You know how to make apple pie?
MARCIE: Oh, sure, no sweat.
Officer Dorf rides up on his motorcycle at the same moment that Ned surprises the girls by acting like an Indian with his shirt around his waist and a headdress on.
NED (seeing the cop): Oh, shit.
DORF: Alright, who are you people.
BRENDA: Camp counselors. Neddy's just foolin' around.
NED: Hey, yeah, I'm just foolin' around.
DORF: Can it, Coochies. You say Steve Christy hired you?
BRENDA: Yeah, uh huh.
DORF: He pay you for this?
Jack walks up towards the motorcyle.
JACK: Hey, nice bike!
DORF: What've you been smokin' boy?
JACK: Me? Don't smoke, causes cancer.
DORF: You know what I mean. What'd you just get off a spaceship or something? Columbian Gold, man, grass, hash, the weed, dig it?
NED: Hey, what's he talking about?
DORF: Hey, don't get smart.
NED: Me, I'm as dumb as they come.
Jack walks back around to the bike.
DORF (to Ned): Hey, not another word out of you, understand me?
BRENDA: Officer, really, nothing's going on here. We're just trying to get the place in shape.
BILL (now present): Is there anything we can do to help?
MARCIE: We'd be glad to help out.
DORF: I'm looking for somebody.
BILL: Who's that?
DORF: A guy named Ralph, town crazy.
NED: Oh, there's no crazy people 'round here!
DORF: I told you to sit on it, Tonto. Now I got word that Ralph was peddling out this way, spouting his gospel.
BILL: Well, we haven't seen anybody here, Officer.
MARCIE: Just us.
BRENDA: Hey, this guy, Ralph, is he dangerous?
DORF: Everytime that looney gets drunk, he gets his calling. I end up spending the morning in court, and he gets a week in jail.
The CB on the motorcycle beeps, Jack looks at it.
VOICE: Cycle 2, where are you? Come in, Cycle 2... Cycle 2?
DORF (picking up mike): This is Dorf. I'm out over here at Crystal Lake. Over.
VOICE: Haul it back in, Dorf. Chief wants you back in town on the double.
DORF: Roger that. Ten-four. On my way. Out. Never keep the Chief waiting. You kids keep your noses clean, understand? You'll be hearing from me if you don't. We ain't gonna stand for no weirdness 'round here.
Everyone giggles, and Officer Dorf rides off.
Alice is in the Kitchen, fixing up everything. She picks up some pots and a frying pan while she sings softly. She opens the door to closet, and Crazy Ralph startles her. Alice screams, and Ned and Marcie run inside.
CRAZY RALPH: I'm the Messenger of God. You're doomed if you stay here. This place is cursed, cursed. It's got a death curse.
ALICE: Who are you?
MARCIE: What do you want?
CRAZY RALPH: God sent me.
NED: Get out of here, man.
CRAZY RALPH (he walks out): I've gotta warn ya... you're doomed if you stay. Go, go.
Ralph leaves.
NED: I think we just met Ralph.
ALICE: God, what's next?
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